Multiple times a day Jason brings me into the waterbed room to get help getting under the blankets. We don't have a working heater for the water bed and although I don't like it Jason loves it. He lays under the feather mattress and the quilt. He has the sensory input of the heaver blankets on top of him as well as the cold mattress. This is something he discovered by himself so we let him do it when he feels it necessary to have some sensory input.
My family went sledding last Saturday. Jason didn't even want to look at the sledding hill, he wanted to play on the park. He does everything differently, but I couldn't believe he was leaving his coat, gloves and hat on.
Then the shoes started coming off. So I put him in the car so he could be warm enough to take all the extra layers off. He had his iPad so I figured I was good for a couple minutes.
While I was taking pictures of the other kids Jason got out of the car. I of course knew this was going to happen but I had hoped I'd catch him before he got to far from the car. My little man is a fast little bugger. He found a puddle. Thankfully it wasn't too cold, so he was ok. No tears from feet cold induced pain. I brought him to my Dad while I got his shoes and coat out of the car.
While I was doing that Duncan climbed the hill with him and took him down on the tube barefoot and no coat or gloves. And of course they both loved every minute of it.
Then it was time for dinner and birthday cake.
Dinner was chili so his shirt got removed, and then there was cake. Cake is something that Jason has just barely discovered is good. He got his hands in his cake and went after my older sister. She is the most clean, pristine person I've ever met. I watched her and her husband trying to clean him up, and they both were jumping away from his hands like they were vipers. I laughed so hard I could hardly contain myself. I took the wash cloth from my brother-in-law and finished up. Sometimes family is so entertaining.
Some very sweet person sent me this card a little while back. There are times that are just so hard to understand what we are doing, and why we get the joy of being parents of these special kids. As is apparent, I am not secretive with the struggles we have. Jason is always hard to parent, even if it's just the heart wrenching realization that he isn't going to have a "normal" life. When I opened this card there was a wonderful monetary gift that went directly to Jason's medicines. Tears filled my eyes as I realized someone else thinks about us and our struggles. Someone else loves us and hopes the best for our family. I'm grateful that Heavenly Father prompted someone to help us in our time of need as well as just having someone think of me. Big Hugs and Big Thanks to who ever put this in their mail box, to send us love through the post.
Jason is funny about where I should be. He always wants me to be in a bed. Whether it be the waterbed or the regular bed he doesn't care. I'm not sure if he's just decided that's where I belong or what. That's where he wants me to be. Most of the time he just hangs out, but sometimes he snuggles and gives me kisses. He is such a sweet baby.
This picture was taken after a long night of Jason being awake. He finally went to sleep about 6:00 am, and when I went to wake him up for school this is how I found him. I find it interesting that getting him asleep can be such a chore, but once he's asleep, the boy is asleep!
I cannot tell you how fantastic my kids are. They really do so much for me and for their little brother. They watch him for me, usually without complaint. They check on him when I'm doing something and it seems too quiet. They love and hug him, and play with him.
Tori has been having an issue at school with a couple of kids in Health class. Tori is one of those kids that if you aren't following the rules she'll tell you you're not. This has been a problem in the past and I think continues to be for her. I always tell her, "Just worry about Tori. If the other kids aren't doing anything that is affecting your standing, just worry about Tori." I've told her multiple times to talk to her teacher about these boys, but I don't think their teasing was bad enough for her to bring it up with the teacher. I think she just wanted to express her frustration about these boys to a safe person, Me. Well yesterday she said, "I think my bully problem is taken care of." I asked her what happened. She said she talked to the teacher about them. I of course wanted to know what made her break down and tell him. She said, "Mom, everything was OK until they started making fun of Jason." I'm sure Tori shared with her class or the kids around her some of the fun things Jason does and the fact that he has Autism. So just to get under her skin these boys said something rude about her little brother. Well, that was it. She told her teacher, who is marked as one of the toughest in the school. He said he'd be keeping them after class and have a chat. I'm anxious to find out how today went for her.
My kids don't put up with anyone teasing their little brother. Even if these people haven't, and will never, meet him. They love him to pieces and will protect him through thick and thin!!!
Jason loves being naked! This started in about the last 6 months to a year. I think it started when he realized he could get undressed by himself. The fun thing is he doesn't usually do it himself. He walks over takes my hands and puts them on his pants. It took me a while to figure out what he was telling me. Did he want me to get up.....was he hungry? Now I get it. He walks over to me puts my hands on his pants and I say, "Clothes off?" And he smiles at me. I then make him sign off.
(taken from Lifeprint.com, I love this site for lessons!)
Generally he just wants to be naked down to a diaper, however his size 7 diapers are getting too small. I'm going to have to move up to Goodnights. Sigh......flushing money down the toilet. We order our diapers from Amazon. I'm hoping they have a larger box of the Goodnights so at least maybe their is an better price for buying in bulk.
Duncan had a swim meet and since Jason is getting too big to leave with my girls for very long he comes with me. Going to these meets can be a bit of a challenge. There are a million people, and even harder for Jason, their is a pool. So This is why I came up with his harness system. I can go support my other children, (cheer for them, watch their activities, actually take pictures of them, not have to pretend that I saw the score they made when they are so excited about it) and Jason is safe. Jason requires constant watching. I can't take him anywhere with out holding his hand or picking him up. He's almost 60 lbs so picking him up is getting hard. I know I'm a spectacle wearing my son attached to me, but if my oldest son didn't want me there he wouldn't do this.
OK....maybe he would look at the camera cross-eyed, but at one point he put his head on my shoulder and snuggled in. If we embarrassed him to much 0then he would tell me to stay home....I might not....but he would at least tell me.
The other thing that is necessary is planning things to keep little fingers busy. There are always treats and drinks just hanging out on the floor. If I don't have these things available I have to wrestle the drink, that has been on the floor for who knows how long and of course covered in someone elses saliva, out of Jason's hands. Then of course it's time for a major melt down. So that's where the gummy bears came in. They are very chewy and small enough for his little hands. Gummy bears are something he has just recently rediscovered. Bad thing with Gummy bears is that Jason drops them on the floor and then he eats off the floor. Again, if I fight with him melt down city. So.......this mama chooses her battles. I try to grab them as I see them, but I don't freak out over some floor food. If I did, I'd be freaking out a lot.
Brett tries so hard to please my whims. One time I was convinced that if Jason had a dutch door I could lock him in his room so that he was safe and I could work. So Brett went to making Jasons' door into a dutch door. Once it was finished I discovered that Jason was better at climbing then I supposed. This was a few years ago so you can imagine my heartache when my two-three year old climbed over the dutch door that was supposed to keep him contained. Now it's turned into another thing to climb on. He actually jumps off it and makes me cringe every time he hits the floor. He never gets hurt, but.......
Sleep is a glorious thing that we sometimes don't get. Jason doesn't sleep from time to time. When he was about eighteen months old, he stopped sleeping. He withdrew and this was our first eye opener that he had Autism. Here's a few posts from my family blog when it all started going down.
Since Brett worked full-time and I worked from home he had no idea the trauma that Jason caused me when he was home. He's always been a sensory seeker. At the time I didn't know what that was, but he never stopped. He never stopped moving and climbing. The only time I knew he was safe was when I had him strapped down somehow. And when he wasn't sleeping that meant I wasn't sleeping.
Sleeplessness really sucks, and I'm always looking forward to a good rest. When he is actually sleepy in the morning the motherly instinct wants him to sleep, but the selfish tired Mommy gets him dressed and puts him on the bus. I know he's safe at school and I can get a nap before he comes home.
Jason getting out of his carseat is not new. It's just a repeat of things from the past. However, I think he's getting so big that he's getting stuck as he tries to shimmy out of his seat belt. This is new.
Trust me. Getting these big feet untangle from the seat belt can be a lot of fun when the boy doesn't actually know you're trying to help. It's like a trying to shew a fly out of the car.
His stimming is pretty constant. He sits really close to a wall or door and yells or claps or talks. Sometimes I wonder which ancestor he's visiting with that I can't see. Maybe his Great Grandparents come to visit.
We realized that our children hadn't watch the Lord of the Rings movies. Now that they are old enough to not have nightmares about Orcs we have had a movie night. I discovered something. The Lord of the Rings has insanely long credits. The credits are something that Jason has watched from the time he was tiny. If you turned the T.V. off before the credits were done he would have a massive meltdown. The meltdown doesn't happen anymore but he loves to watch credits. Brett went to the store and back again before they were over. I would say he sat transfixed for about 30 minutes.
January 3rd was a fun day. Jason was on one. He was constantly going, and thankfully Brett moved the swing to the master/jason's room. There is just more room in there for him to go. He very quickly figured out the fun of climbing on the bed and swinging. So far we have only had one crash, and he learned that hurts. We haven't seen that again.
Then the older kids had a meeting about the school musical. They are so excited to go, and Grandma and Grandpa were going to the symphony. So Jason got to go with us, we do have other children to support. When we got there Jason was off the walls. I couldn't believe how many people there were showing up for a Jr. High musical. I tried to keep him contained for a few minutes and decided it wasn't going to work. I sent Duncan out to the car for Jason's harness. This is something I don't like to sport that often. Looks, glares, questions are generally something I like to avoid. But when you have your child on a leash it will bring them. It wasn't possible to hold him in my lap for an hour, he's just getting to big for me to hold. The harness has been a good thing for us, so I thought I would share.
Jason is wearing a climbing harness from here. I clipped a $3 carabiner from the key chain section on the harness, got a $5 dog leash to hook on the carabiner, and a $3 tool belt for me to wear. I slip the handle end of the dog leash over the tool belt and clip it around my waist. I know he's safe and I can focus on the meeting. Trust me, when I say this is not for fun. The whole meeting was me being pulled off the bleacher, but my older two both have lead parts in the play and they couldn't be more excited.
I found Jason yesterday morning in between the couch and the armoir. He had taken his diaper off and was enjoying the heater. Yes.....he like tight spaces, warm air, and no clothes.
Yesterday was.....well....one of those days. He was frustrated....anxious.....angry....aggressive....well pretty much everything all rolled into one. Since Tori broke the shower we had to go to Home Depot. Jason sat in the cart and stimmed the whole time. Not unusual for my boy. One of these days he's not going to be able to ride in the cart anymore.
We did find a Jack-in-the-Box for $3.00 and it did make him smile.
Since Brett had to dig into the shower wall he found out that there were some parts he needed. We then went to Lowe's which is closer to our home, and Jason decided he wanted to go for a run. He's pretty good about staying with us now, but he wasn't having a good day. He took off and ran down a few aisles. When I finally caught up to him he was on the floor. I asked him to get up and when I tried to lift him up he kicked me in the knee I was standing on. Of course he has no idea that he's hurting me, or even what that means, but I wasn't happy with the boy. I limped around trying not to spout off, and then waited for a good moment to pick him up. When I went to get him, he got up and ran again. This time I grabbed him and threw him over my shoulder. When this happens of course there are a lot of amused smiles from others. Sometimes I want to cry or scream just to make them realize that it's not funny. They of course are giving me their, "I'm glad it's not me, but I'm sorry it's you" chuckle, so I don't usually lose it in public.
When we got home this is what we heard for about an hour and a half. I'd like to think I'm the sweet loving Mother that tries to console him, but I'm not. I've learned that trying to make him feel better only gets me a punch to the face. So I stay at least an arms length away, and help as I can.
After he settled down from crying he was hyper. Brett is a Cub Scout Den Leader so he had to leave for their Den meeting. For some reason Duncan has been wanting to go with Brett to help so he went along. Our neighbor is also in Cub's so she has Tori babysit while she has to go. When they all went to leave, Jason raced for the door. Of course he was pretty much naked. He doesn't care that it's freezing outside. He just wanted to go for a ride. If the car had been warm, I might have taken him for one. However, it hadn't been driven for a couple hours so it wouldn't have heated up for a good fifteen minutes. It took me a while to convince him that he needed to come inside.
I was convinced he wasn't going to sleep. Brett dealt with the other three while I laid in the bedroom with Jason. After about and hour Brett suggested we give him another melatonin. He eventually went to sleep and slept all night. He was much better this morning.
Any Tolkien nerds out there? I decided one day when reading the Lord of the Rings series that I liked J R R Tolkien. The reason I liked him is because there wasn't a constant level of stress. You had your stressful times but then there was a peaceful time. Like when the hobbits went to tom bombadills house. Their was noises outside so you knew it wasn't over, but they were safe for a time. Tom took care of them, and they were safe.
I want my tom bombadil moment. I want a time were things work. Where finances don't scare me, and the kids get along. Maybe the laundry would just do itself and magically everyone would have clean underwear. Maybe someone would knock on my front door and tell us that even though we didn't play we won the lottery, or a years supply if gasoline. Maybe Tye Pennington would tell me they were going to build us a new house, or Ellen would fly us out an award us with a million prizes for just being us.
My Mom tells me that's not how life works and we just need to problem solve. Strangely tonight I just don't want to. Brett is currently trying to figure out what to do since our oldest daughter broke the handle off the tub.
When Brett and I first had children we were absolutely convinced that we would never medicate our children. So when Jason started having anxiety and aggression issues we weren't sure what to do. Our nurse practitioner said she could help we started medicine. We've slowly worked up to the meds on the counter. It doesn't solve everything but it helps. Especially with sleep.
